For some reason, it is scary when we tell our partner what we want to change, try or stop in our sex life. According to Athens Escorts and Dr. Mimi Sagaga, a licensed clinical psychologist, it is perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable at first. ” Sex can be considered a taboo subject for many. Often this is related to the way we were told or not about sex in our childhood or in the family . “It can also be a sensitive issue if one has insecurities about our sexuality or body image.”
But let us not be afraid, as there are ways to talk about sex with our partner and have a conversation without obstacles. Below we present some tips to start the discussion and have the best sex of our lives.
Let’s choose a specific time when we will be calm and relaxed
Clinical psychologist and sex expert Eliza Bokuin explains on The ylson.nett hat the environment in which we talk to our partner about sex is very important. Let’s not try to talk to them during or after sex , as this is the time when we are most vulnerable and could say something that takes the wrong turn. Let’s make sure we talk to them when we’re both calm and there are no other distractions. “Let’s create some free time and ask our partner first: I wanted to talk to you about some ways I would like to explore sex life. “Is this a good time?” Says Boquin.
What can we say
In case we are unsure about how to approach the discussion, Bokuin provides some easy tips to start the conversation.
- “How do you feel about your sex life during this time?”
- “How much pleasure do you have from sex life?”
- “What do you like most about your sex life?”
- “Is there anything you are afraid to share about sexual desires?” “What was your biggest fear of my response?”
- “I really like it when _____ during sex”
- “There are some things I would like to explore with you. “Is it okay if I tell you?”
- “Is there anything you would like me to do more in sex?”
- “Have you ever felt ashamed of having sex with me?”
- “How could I make a free sex conversation with you safer?”
Bokun explains that it is important to understand that the partner does not feel attacked and the easiest way to do this is to remind him of the beautiful things he does. Let’s prepare the ground by discussing the sex life habits we love and want to pursue, and then move the discussion to what we want to change. ” It is important to communicate with our partner what we like and what we do not like . “And while this may be a difficult discussion, the right partner will be open and responsive to that discussion,” said Dr. Sangaga.
How to discuss what we want to change
If we feel that needs are not being met, a discussion about what we want is important. According to Bowkin, we must first recognize the needs that are not being met and stick to them resolutely . For example, the partner ends before he “allows” us to orgasm and assumes that the sex is over after that. The choices are endless and nothing is trivial or too important to discuss with the person having sex.
The expert suggests asking the partner if it is okay to hear some comments and if they say “yes”, then we have it. We need to be honest in advance about what we lack in sex.
There is a possibility that the partner may not be able to meet the needs and this does not mean that we need to “leave the ship” completely. “Their limits may not be in line with our wishes. “What can help there is sex therapy, because a sex therapist can help fill those gaps in desire.”